


A Change Of Events

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bigotry & Prejudice, Drama, Falling In Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Marriage, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-01
Updated: 2009-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Kirk’s family is murdered when he is just a child. He is brought to Vulcan where he meets Spock; a meeting which will change both of their lives forever.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Kudos: 346





	A Change Of Events

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: AU (obviously) and it does not follow canon timeline. Deal with it or bail out now.  
> Beta by Charlene. Thanks so much.

Part 1:

He had been the only one who had survived. There was nothing left.

Jim’s father had been stationed to Tarsus IV for only 8 months when disaster had struck. Food had become scarce and Governor Kodos had started to execute a large part of the population to ‘save the rest’ as he had said to justify the mass-murder. Anyone who objected had been considered traitors. Jim’s father had objected; loudly and violently. He had died first when he, with a small group of citizens who had also refused to give up without a fight, had attacked some of the Governor’s soldiers. They had hoped by their attack on the soldiers to free a group of citizens they were transporting who had been selected for termination. Terror was the Governor’s weapon of choice to keep the public in line and it was a weapon he used well. To discourage others to resist he had had all the families of the resistance fighters captured and executed. Jim hadn’t been aware of any of this at the time. He had just turned 11 and had only seen and felt the fear and terror around him though his mother and big brother had tried to shield him. The last time Jim had seen his father he had looked grim and serious as he had said farewell and said he loved him. He had then told his big brother Sam to take care of him which Jim had protested; he was old enough to take care of himself. He had kissed his mother farewell and there had been a sadness in his parents’ eyes and a desperation in their movements that had puzzled Jim. A few days later the soldiers had arrived to their house. His mother had told Sam to take care of him and had said she would hold back the soldiers to buy them time. Sam had taken his hand and they had run to the back of the house. The fear Jim had felt from his older brother had made him have to fight the urge to call out for his mother to have her assure him everything was alright. In the distance they had heard many footsteps and then loud arguing voices as the soldiers forcefully entered the house and their mother started arguing with them. Both boys had frozen in terror when they had heard the sound of a disrupter weapon being fired.

“Hide and no matter what happens don’t come out. Don’t say a word. Not a word. Promise me?” Sam had told him and Jim had only nodded, to shocked and afraid to speak. Without another word Sam had taken off the covering to a small air tunnel which vented the house and helped Jim up and into it. He had just put the covering back over it when the soldiers had stormed into the room. Sam had in his haste not been able to close the covering completely and Jim could see the soldiers, could see his brother. He saw Sam make a gesture as if to raise his hands in surrender but the movement was never completed. A soldier aimed at him and he disappeared with only the smallest echo of surprised agony. Jim had had to bite into his hand to follow Sam’s instruction not to yell out. The soldiers searched the house but never came close to the air tunnel. After that they left. Jim’s whole world had dissolved in only a few days. Not knowing what else to do he stayed where he was; after a few hours his body stopped shaking and he became numb in body and mind. When the rescue team found him the next day he still had not moved. They had taken him to a starship where a kind doctor and nurses had taken care of him but he had barely acknowledged them. After a few days he asked about his family and had been told they were all dead. In fact he had been the only survivor to the horrible crimes committed by the Governor. There was deadness, a complete loss of attachment in his heart when he heard the news. The nurse had urged him to cry; he never did.

After some weeks he had been told many worlds in the Federation had offered him shelter; the disaster had shocked the public and eager hands had been extended to him. Most offers came from various places on Earth; some of course from distant relatives he barely knew he had who all offered to take him in. Jim had viewed all the offers with dull indifference which had started to become a normal emotional state for him. During his recovery on the ship he had become increasingly frustrated with the humans insisting on telling him how he should mourn his family. There was one offer from Vulcan; there was a well known interplanetary boarding school there which was considered one of the best in the galaxy. Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan had on behalf of Vulcan offered Kirk a place there with living quarters at the school. He would become a ward to the Ambassador’s clan – he had been told this was equal to a ward of state on Earth – tuition fee and living costs would be covered and he would be given a small allowance. Jim had read about Vulcans; they were private beings who distasted emotions and embraced logic. It was what Jim wanted. He knew if he started feeling he would feel too much; he wouldn’t be able to hold it all in. The nurses, the doctor, even the captain came down to his temporarily assigned quarters to try and talk him out of it but Jim stood firm. With no close relatives he had temporarily become a ward of state to Earth. Kirk had always been able to get his will with his charm and a winning smile; this was no exception. When his assigned social worker, a young woman on one of her first assignments, came to talk to him to be sure he knew what he was doing he had convinced her to see things his way. Within 20 minutes he had her arguing on his behalf for him going to Vulcan.

Two months had passed since he had lost his family when Kirk arrived on Vulcan and a tall, beautiful Vulcan woman showed him around the boarding school. She showed no emotions but only stated facts as they walked until finally she showed him which quarters where to be his. There was a small bathroom connected to his room but meals would be taken in the dinning hall. The room had all white walls and held a closet, a bed, a nightstand, a chair and a desk. Efficient and emotionless. Unlike the humans on the ship she didn’t try to touch him, she didn’t hold pity, worry or concern in her eyes and expression. Her voice was not prying or emotional. Her only comment on his loss had been, ‘I grieve with thee’. Thereafter the matter had been closed. When she left Jim to unpack the belongings someone from the ship had brought back up for him from what had once been his home he did so with an aura of determination. Maybe within this society of detachment he could calm the chaos in his head and heart.

Part 2:

Kirk quickly learned that Vulcans could indeed show emotion; arrogance seemed very common. All his teachers seemed to expect him to fall behind and the other students seemed just as sure that he was no match for them. Within a few weeks Kirk discovered he could actually feel again; determination and anger. He worked hard on his studies but the approach was different from anything he had ever learned before. Still, burying himself in books distracted him from a pain so hollow and all consuming it was an ever present shadow he fought hard to escape.

It was time for lunch in the 8th week of Kirk’s stay at the school. In the morning he had had biology and physics and neither were subjects he had ever excelled in. Here at Vulcan his knowledge seemed even less sufficient. While the school did accept none Vulcans Kirk had discovered there were few and those were considered exceptionally gifted children. He was the only Human at the school.

“Mr. Kirk,” the sound of his physics teacher catching up with him made Kirk stop his internal musings and his escape out of the classroom.

He turned to face him. “Yes, Sir?”

In Jim’s opinion the older Vulcan was as distant and stoic as any being could be without being dead. “You have been placed in this class as accordance to your age. However, I believe you may find a lower level more advantageous.”

Jim felt his cheeks heat. How politely these Vulcans could tell him he was stupid. Jim shook his head, determination making his eyes blaze. “No.”

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow; Jim was beginning to learn Vulcans did this when surprised or shocked. “Excuse me?”

“No, Sir.” Kirk amended before he went on, trying to calm his anger. He didn’t understand why he so often felt anger these days. It made him long for the complete emotional detachment he had felt while on the ship. “I would like to be allowed to stay in your class, Sir.”

The Vulcan seemed to consider it but then he said, “There will be a test in 4.5 months. If you pass it you may stay. If not you will be moved to a level more fitting your intellect.”

With that he left the room, making Kirk look after him with a hint of panic. 4.5 months? He had never been one to deceive himself; he knew he was terribly behind in this class.

Kirk resumed his walk out of the classroom, lost in grim thoughts.

He had barely realized a few Vulcan students had been in the classroom during his talk with the teacher until one of them spoke. “Human minds are not capable of higher thinking. Their history clearly shows their illogical rationales,” one of the Vulcan boys said to another as they followed after Kirk out of the room. His voice was loud enough for Kirk to hear and in his opinion he had clearly meant for him to hear his words. Jim’s lips became a thin line but he said nothing. He wasn’t unaware of the flaws his race had nor of the faults in his native world’s history done over the centuries but the continued mention of it were starting to bother him.

“Maybe our little Human will find his illogic shared by Spock?” one of the other Vulcans asked when the group had entered the lunch room. Had a human said it the comment would have been filled with glee and contempt. From the Vulcan it came out almost – almost – without any of those emotions.

Kirk had no idea who Spock was but the Vulcan who had spoken noticed Kirk stare at him. His eyes went to a Vulcan who sat by a table by himself, pointing Spock out to Kirk. His side was to them and he was reading in a book, a tray with food beside him. He seemed oblivious to anything and anyone around him. He was a thin young Vulcan with black hair. He looked just like any other Vulcan to Kirk and he failed to understand the comment about him. He decided that it was likely because those two Vulcans had some kind of competition going on. Excelling in school and competing to be the best seemed to be a favorite pastime for the Vulcan students. Kirk went to the replicators, ordered his food and sat down by an empty table. From his angle he could see Spock and he found himself observing him. The Vulcan looked to be around 16 or 17 but it was hard to tell. He sat very stiffly in his chair and ate mechanically. His whole body language seemed more controlled than the other Vulcans he had seen. This made the young Vulcan’s comment make even less sense. Kirk had always loved a good mystery and he found himself intrigued for the first time since the death of his family.

Part 3:

There was now about two months to his upcoming exams. Kirk had found out there were exams in all his subjects and he stood to fail most of them. Intergalactic history and foreign literature were some of the few subjects Kirk excelled in. Starting to feel discouraged his spirits had been lifted by the mystery surrounding Spock. He had found out he was one of the best students the school had ever had. He was scheduled to attend the Vulcan Science Academy next year. He was also the son of Ambassador Sarek and – he assumed – therefore also Amanda’s son. He had received a short message from Amanda when he had arrived at Vulcan, introducing herself as the ambassador’s wife and welcoming him to Vulcan. Her letter had been formal but with a warmth Jim had found surprising in a Vulcan. She had claimed Jim could call on her at any time should he ever need anything. Kirk had never even considered taking her up on the offer, he was not ready to try and form any ties and was also convinced the offer was made out of politeness only.

Kirk was on his way to physics class but the mystery of Spock was much more fascinating than the idea of understanding the complexity of a black hole which was today’s lecture. He was dragging his feet as he walked despite the punishment for lateness. Last time he had been late he had been ordered to write an essay on the importance of punctuality; then he had been 5 minutes…no, 5.7 minutes late for class. He had started to loathe physics more than he always had. He always felt like he was being humiliated and ridiculed for his stupidity but always in that polite and superior way he felt many Vulcans employed. When Vulcans did not radiate these traits Kirk had found he enjoyed the company of Vulcans; they made interaction very easy. It was never personal, no one ever pried. It was a cold and distancing experience wherein conversations were always kept to impersonal issues. The sharp contract between the life he led here to the warmth, laughter and mischief of his life with his family enabled him to go on. That Kirk had died and he still didn’t know who this Kirk was. The detachment from emotions ensured he didn’t have to figure it out. It was safe here; emotionally safe.

“I see no reason to bring my mother into this debate,” Kirk heard someone say and when he turned a corner he saw it was Spock who had spoken. He stood surrounded by three Vulcans about his own age. Unlike any Vulcan Kirk had ever seen Spock’s dark eyes seemed to flash with emotions; hurt and pain seemed as if written on him despite his stiff and proper posture and his calm voice. Kirk’s classroom was in the other direction but Kirk didn’t even think twice; he steered straight for Spock. He had never been able to pass by and let someone suffer.

“To Bond with a Human…one should question such logic,” one of the other Vulcans said.

So Amanda was human; it explained the warmth he had felt in her letter Kirk fleetingly thought.

“My parents Bonded for logical reasons and Vulcan accepted these,” Spock replied. Kirk felt a surge of protectiveness and care he hadn’t felt since his family had been murdered when he detected the small undertones of pain in Spock’s voice; this was clearly not the first time he had been verbally attacked by his fellow Vulcans.

“That may be but it does not make your decisions logical by association. I heard someone say they saw you cry the other day!” the last Vulcan spoke up, the words said with something as close to contempt as a Vulcan could come.

Kirk had reached them now. “See? The Human comes to your rescue,” the first Vulcan spoke up again and everyones attention went to him.

Kirk took a deep breath to get his emotions under control. He was filled with fire; with life in a way he hadn’t been for months. He controlled his urge to start a fist fight; they would not get the satisfaction of seeing him lose control. He wanted to beat them at their own game so he simply said as calmly as he could, “I was not aware anyone was in need of rescuing.”

Before anyone could react he went on, turning to give Spock a comradely look as if they knew each other, “I don’t know about you, Spock, but I would seriously question the logic of anyone who stands here wasting time debating the logic of events which have transpired years ago.” All Vulcans present stared at him in shock and he found himself giving a sweetly smile; he was actually enjoying himself. Forgetting Vulcans didn’t touch he put a hand under Spock’s elbow and started to steer him away. They had walked a few steps before Spock withdrew from the touch but they continued further down the corridor together. Only after they had turned several corners did Kirk stop. Spock did likewise.

The smile on Kirk’s lips died when he saw the cold look on Spock’s face.

“I did not require your assistance.”

For some reason the coldness in Spock’s voice hurt in a way it never had when other Vulcans addressed him in that tone. Kirk shrugged, covering up his hurt. “You got it anyway.”

They stood in silence for a little while before Spock by protocol seemed to find something to say, “I am Spock cha Sarek.”

Kirk nodded. “I’m Jim.” At Spock’s raised eyebrow he added, still getting used to the formality in Vulcan society. “James T. Kirk.”

Spock gave an almost invisible nod of his head in acknowledgement of his name. “I have 2.3 minutes to reach my class. Farewell, James,” he said with a finality that clearly said he didn’t expect them to speak again.

He began to leave but Kirk impulsively laid a hand on his arm. “I will see you at lunch,” it was both a question and a statement and he held his breath as he waited for Spock to answer. He wasn’t sure why it was important to him to reach out to Spock but there was something in the older Vulcan that called to him. He made him feel alive and not just living.

“Very well.” With those words he was gone. Kirk grinned as he watched him leave; the first grin since his family had been murdered. For that brief second he felt happy for the first time since his world had been so violently taken from him. When he finally reached his physics class he didn’t care that he was reprimanded for being 6.8 minutes late or that he had been given yet another punishment assignment.

Part 4:

“James, it is a simply question,” Spock said with something close to a sigh. They were sitting by Kirk’s desk with datapads in front of them- the only table in his room. The Human’s books were spread everywhere, also on the bed and floor. There were only a few days to Kirk’s exams and his nervousness was not helping the situation.

Through stubborn persistence Kirk had dragged Spock into a friendship. Whenever Spock had seated himself alone Kirk would sit with him and start explaining what had happened to him during the day. It quickly became more than protectiveness or shared loneliness; Spock had a stoic dignity, dry humor, strength yet vulnerability which Kirk found fascinating. It wasn’t like any friendship Kirk had ever had before. They didn’t debate personal issues but there was a silent support between them that made their conversations warm nonetheless. Kirk would readily and without prompting from Spock tell his Vulcan friend how to ignore the teasing of others or how to answer back. The best way to handle such situations were an issue they didn’t always agree upon; Kirk enjoyed trying to verbally beat his opponent since a real fight was out of the question while Spock was more inclined to ignore the teasing all together. Despite this if one of them were in trouble the other was always close by.

Spock had quickly and easily taken on the role as Jim’s mentor. Spock would never say it but Kirk’s support of him and faith in his abilities meant a lot to the young Vulcan. Through his mentoring Spock had gained more self-confidence and Kirk’s skills had improved significantly. But had they improved enough?

“For you, maybe,” Kirk replied grumpily to Spock as he looked at the question blankly. Spock was a whiz at science and clearly enjoyed the clear detachment and ease with which science could be approached. Spock didn’t say it with as many words but Kirk had quickly come to realize it hadn’t been easy for Spock to grow up on Vulcan. Kirk had made it his personal duty to see to it that it would be easier for his friend from now on. His growing caring for his new Vulcan friend had day by day brightened his life, chasing away the numbness of loss and the horrors of a past too painful to remember.

“James, you are not without skills when it comes to science; you simply do not give it as much attention as you tend to do with other subjects,” Spock explained patiently. “Now, to solve this problem you need to…” Spock started to explain. After Kirk had gotten used to the way Vulcans, also Spock, spoke, he found Spock a good teacher. He still didn’t get why Vulcans would use 12 words to say something he could say with 2 but that was apparently their way.

A month later, Kirkpassed all his exams; some with quite high marks. He just barely passed physics, a few other scientific subjects and Vulcan history. Kirk had been so twilled he had brought Spock a gift with the little allowance he got, knowing he owed a great deal to his Vulcan friend for the achievement. It was a replica of a Terran snowglobe with a winter landscape inside. Spock had once told him he had never seen snow so Kirk had told the other boy as logically as he could that now he had. Spock had given the faintest hint of a smile; something he had slowly started to do whenever they were alone. Kirk hadn’t known it but this was the first gift he had been given by someone other than Amanda and her human relatives. The snowglobe would be given a special place of honour in Spock’s room among the few objects he through the years had developed an attachment to.

Part 5:

A year passed. Kirk, who had been close to 12 when he had lost his family, would soon turn 13. Spock would leave for the Vulcan Science Academy within a few months. The panic and sense of loss the idea of not seeing Spock almost every day as he did now had brought him had surprised him. Kirk had calmed though when Spock had told him the Academy was right across from Kirk’s school. The incident had made Kirk realize he now saw in Spock a brother. Not like Sam; no one could ever replace him but still a brother. They were at ease in each other’s company and slowly, day by day, Kirk had regained his appetite for life. He still never thought about the loss of his family; he still hadn’t cried. He got letters once in a while from distant relatives or the family lawyer updating him on the holdings he now had as sole hair to his parents’ estate. He never replied. The wound was still too fresh.

It had come as a surprise to Kirk when Spock had asked if he wanted to come to Thanksgiving dinner at his parents’ home. Apparently Amanda was from a family where they had still celebrated the holiday and she kept the tradition alive here on Vulcan by always making a traditional meal on the day where it was Thanksgiving on Earth. Well, as traditional as one could with the turkey being replaced with a vegetarian dish. Spock had always seemed reluctant to speak of his parents so Kirk had assumed things were difficult between them. Kirk had agreed to the invitation and had been picked up by an aircab at the school. He had dressed in his finest suit; brought to him by his mother for a wedding they should have attended on Tarsus IV a few weeks before disaster had stuck. The wedding had never been and the suit had been unworn till this day. If it was fine enough for a wedding Kirk had surmised it was good enough for an ambassador. Of course then he hadn’t known Sarek was also from one of the finest and most influential families on the planet. When he saw the lavish home Sarek and Amanda had he was glad he had dressed up.

Amanda and Sarek met him at the front door with Spock behind them. They too had dressed up; Spock and Sarek in the official robes of Vulcan and Amanda in a lovely and colourful dress which seemed in sharp contrast to the earthy colours all Vulcans seemed to prefer. When he saw her face, the warmth in her eyes, Kirk suddenly realized he had missed seeing another human. He extended his hand to her for a handshake but she hugged him instead the way Humans often do with children they feel a special bond to. He returned the embrace, enjoying the first physical touch since he had arrived on the planet.

“It is wonderful to finally see you, James,” Amanda said with a soft smile as they separated.

“Thank you, Lady Amanda,” Kirk said formally. Then he grinned, letting her graceful warmth influence him. “And call me Jim.” He still hadn’t been able to get Spock to call him Jim in private but he was working on it.

Amanda’s smile widened and she nodded. “Jim.”

Kirk turned to Sarek and his smile died. The older Vulcan looked at him stoically. Kirk raised his hand in a flawless Vulcan salute, perfected after months of practice. “Ambassador.”

Sarek returned the salute, the slightest hint of pleasant surprise in his eyes at the Vulcan mannerism after the emotional scene he had just witnessed. “Live long and prosper, James Kirk.”

The greetings done Amanda urged him inside and Kirk smiled at Spock as he went to him. By now he was able to recognize the small hints of emotion Spock seemed to send only to him but today there was none. Not the slightest hint of warmth. Kirk felt a stab of hurt and disappointment until he realized Sarek stood right behind them. He understood well the need to impress one's father and Kirk swore to himself not to embarrass Spock with overly human behavior. As the evening progressed and Kirk showed he knew and followed Vulcan protocol and could carry a logical conversation he noticed that some of the tension seemed to leave Spock’s shoulders. The meal was fantastic with only Amanda and him having turkey; Amanda had ensured there was a very delicious vegetarian dish for Spock and Sarek. When it was time for giving thanks Amanda kept it simple and gave thanks for her family, their wellbeing and her hope for their happiness. Kirk turned expectantly to Sarek. Seeing his look Amanda smiled before she explained, “My husband finds thanksgiving illogical.”

“One does not thank logic,” Sarek confirmed though there was a hint of affection in his eyes as he looked at his wife.

Kirk would have loved Spock to say something; to get this look into his soul but from Spock’s strong hold on his emotions it was clear he was following his father’s Vulcan approach and disregarding his mother’s human side. He saw the hurt Amanda couldn’t quite hide even after all these years.

“I would like to be illogical now then,” Kirk said into the silence. It hadn’t been an easy year; his last Thanksgiving had been celebrated with his family and he fought fiercely not to remember that. It wasn’t hard for him to find someone and something to be grateful for despite the hardships he had been through in the passing year. “I would like to thank Ambassador Sarek and his wife for welcoming me to Vulcan. Most of all I am thankful to Spock for…” he almost said ‘being my friend’ but recalled that Spock a few weeks back had admitted he felt friendship for him and that it made him uncomfortable. It had hurt to hear that but Spock had reminded him he was merely stating a fact; apparently friendship wasn’t logical. Well, as most Vulcans kept reminding him he was Human and therefore expected to be both illogical, irrational and prone to undo emotion. “….for letting me be his friend. And his brother,” Kirk concluded his sentence instead, sending a warm smile towards Spock, stating his emotions with all the boldness of youth. His open admission had Sarek frown, Amanda smile happily and Spock’s eyes held the briefest flare of warmth which was quickly hidden again but it was all the reassurance Kirk needed.

“I am glad my son has a friend,” Amanda said, clearly moved.

Kirk noticed she had said ‘a friend’ and not ‘a friend like you’ or anything else. This indication that he was likely Spock’s only friend made him feel a surge of protectiveness and sadness towards his older friend. He knew now that Vulcans considered friendship illogical; it fulfilled an emotional need only whereas coworkers, colleagues or family members all had logical functions. The fact that he could call Spock his friend meant even more to him in light of this knowledge.

“Mother,” Spock protested and he seemed uncomfortable with his mother’s words.

“Thank you for dinner. It was great,” Kirk said to break the sudden tense atmosphere.

Amanda smiled happily. “You’re welcome.”

Kirk noticed no one else said thank you but then remembered that thanks in this case would be illogical; eating was a basic function. There was silence for a few seconds before Kirk spoke again. “Spock, will you show me your room?”

“Of course. May we be excused?” Spock asked, directing the question towards his father.

“You may leave,” Sarek said and both Spock and Kirk rose from the table. Spock gave a small nod to each of his parents before leaving the room and Kirk copied the gesture. He quickly caught up with Spock who had stopped in the doorway to wait for him. Spock spoke of the history of the house as they walked through it, painting a picture in Kirk’s mind of a very old, influential and rich family inheritance.

“This is my room,” Spock said after they had walked for some minutes. He opened a door and they stepped into a large room. It was tidy and everything was in order. It held a large bed, table, chair and closet. Everything was kept in earthly tones which gave the room a serene but somewhat cold look. There were only a few none functional items; some antiques from Earth and Vulcan and a couple of holos. Kirk’s eyes were caught by the holo of an animal which seemed to resemble a large teddy bear – with fangs. He moved closer to it, fascinated by the kindness he saw in its eyes. In the holo the animal was showing joy and playfulness towards the one who had taken the holo. The animal moved gracefully even in playfulness and the holo played for about 20 seconds before restarting.

“Her name was I-Chaya. She was my pet sehlat,” Spock explained, his attention also caught by the holo.

Kirk had finally got to know Spock well enough to understand the depth of his voice and the gleam in his eyes meant sorrow. “She was beautiful,” Kirk commented, in awe. When he drew back to look at Spock he said softly in High Vulcan, “I grieve with thee.”

A brief flash of surprise at the traditional Vulcan phrase of shared sorrow crossed Spock’s features but was quickly hidden. However, a warm gleam of thankfulness stayed in his eyes as he nodded his acceptance of the words.

Kirk continued exploring Spock’s room, enjoying getting to know his friend better this way. He went to sit on Spock’s bed and looked up into the ceiling. Spock did a hand gesture towards a hidden sensor and holograms of stars swilled around. Galaxies formed and took shape, stars moved and glowed, supernovas came and went; all painting an amazing picture of color and light above the human’s head.

Kirk leaned back, supporting his weight on his elbows to be able to see it all. “Wow,” was all he could say, in awe once more.

“An illogic gift from my mother; it has no practical use,” Spock commented but Kirk could tell from his expression that he liked the gift despite this.

Kirk cast him a questioning look, a little saddened for him that he was unable to voice the emotions he clearly had towards people and objects but had been taught to feel shame instead. He laid down flat on the bed, admiring the beauty above his head. “Maybe sometimes it can be logical to be illogical,” he finally said softly, his gaze on the hologram above his head but his heart and mind on his friend.

“Indeed,” Spock replied softly with unspoken emotions hanging in the air. Kirk felt the bed move as Spock laid down beside him. Kirk cast him a brief look and saw his hands were neatly folded over his chest, his eyes on the hologram above them. Kirk grinned then, feeling a sense of peace in his friend and in himself. For a long time they lay side by side in silent companionship, admiring the beauty above them.

Part 6:

Kirk was 14 the day he found Alexander. He was walking with Spock on the outskirts of the city, on the edge to the desert. It was a rest day so they had decided to do some exploring. Or rather Kirk had wanted to explore and with a sense of fond overbearing Spock had joined him though Kirk was convinced Spock enjoyed his impulsive and at times daring ideas even though he would never admit to it.

They had been walking for a few hours, remaining near areas of shade mainly for Kirk’s sake as his human metabolism couldn’t endure the harsh weather on Vulcan for long periods of time. Kirk had seen the sehlat then; he had been lying under a nearby tree. It was a large and strong animal in its prime with a shiny fur. The animal had heard them approach but remained where he was. His eyes were cautious but challenging and Kirk took an instant liking to him. As soon as he had seen the sehlat Spock put a restraining and protective hand on Kirk’s arm to hold him back. Kirk, however, just gave him a grin and started to walk towards the sehlat.

“James, what are you doing?!” Spock asked, trying for a soft tone so not to frighten the animal but his annoyance and worry was clear.

Kirk briefly looked back at him but then continued with slow steps towards the sehlat. “It’s like the one you had; I-Chaya,” he explained softly.

“He is nothing like I-Chaya; this one is wild,” Spock protested. Though he hated to remain behind while Kirk kept approaching the animal the odds of the sehlat attacking was greater if it felt threatened and two beings approaching it at the same time would certainly seem more threatening than one. Spock still felt an overwhelming urge to go after Kirk and kept his eyes fixated on the young human as if he could keep him safe by the power of his will alone.

“He won’t hurt me,” Kirk assured him, his voice soft and his attention on the sehlat. The animal was still lying down but had now raised its head and was watching Kirk’s approach fearlessly but with clear apprehension in intelligent eyes.

“A wild sehlat is extremely dangerous and unpredictable. Don’t approach it,” Spock warned, aware his voice was close to pleading. In that moment he realized he didn’t know what to do should he lose Kirk. The young human had slowly, little by little, become a part of him. He had eased his loneliness to such a degree Spock didn’t want to even consider the emptiness the loss of Kirk would bring him. As each year had passed they had shared more and more. They were together almost every day and Kirk spent all his holidays with Spock and his family. Their friendship had deepened to a level where they knew each others dreams, wishes, hopes, fears and desires without having to voice them. Spock’s attendance to the Vulcan Science Academy hadn’t lessened their friendship; on the contrary. As he now lived alone in a large apartment in the city it was easier for them to meet up.

“He won’t harm me; trust me,” Kirk repeated softly as he kept moving nearer. Spock held his breath as Kirk slowly stretched out a hard towards the sehlat. It sniffed it but remained lying. Kirk then stroked its head and the sehlat rose to move further into the touch.

Kirk grinned, his whole face glowing like a small star as he turned to look back at Spock. “See? I told you he was alright.”

Spock finally breathed again, unaware he had stopped. He fought to regain his posture and control. He moved slowly towards Kirk and the large sehlat who was enjoying and demanding even further attention from Kirk. “From what did you base that conclusion?”

Kirk shrugged and smiled mischievously. “A hunch?”

Spock raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. “That is hardly a very scientific approach.”

Kirk laughed; Spock was a funny man although no one else seemed to get his humor. “Indeed, it is not,” Kirk said in his best Vulcan voice after he sobered, but humor still sparkled in his eyes.

Spock couldn’t keep the warmth from showing in his eyes; he couldn’t be mad at Kirk for long. His life, his smile, his very being was contagious. “What will you do with him?”

Kirk looked from Spock and down at the sehlat he was still petting. The sehlat was unique; strong and fearless yet daring and loyal. He was wild and tamed at the same time; free but caged by his own choice. This combination reminded Kirk of himself and he felt an instant kinship. “I’ll keep him of course.”

  
“You will not be allowed to do so,” Spock warned. It was a beautiful animal and now that he could see it had chosen to give its loyalty to Kirk he had no objections to it. However, the sehlat was very different from the one he had had. I-Chaya had been mild-tempered, emphatic and had taken to almost everyone. She had been violent only to protect her own master. The main difference was likely that I-Chaya had seen him as her master whereas this animal was wild and had chosen to follow Kirk as one of its pack members but not necessarily obey him.

Kirk bit his lower lip in thought, knowing Spock was right. He couldn’t keep the large animal with him in his small room at the school. “Will you keep him for me then?” Kirk asked. When Spock hesitated he added, “Please?”

Kirk threw a wide and pleading smile combined with a warm and hopeful look under long lashes Spock’s way; counting on his charm to get him what he wanted as it normally did. He wasn’t disappointed. He had made it impossible for the Vulcan to say no even though he knew he should. “Very well,” Spock said with an almost invisible sigh.

Kirk glowed once more. “Thank you!” Kirk impulsively hugged Spock who stood still and stiff in his arms from shock and surprise; besides Amanda and her human relatives no one had ever hugged him and they had all stopped doing so when he was quite young out of respect for his Vulcan inheritance.

“Sorry,” Kirk said sheepishly as he quickly withdrew.

“I… did not mind,” Spock admitted, surprised that he truly didn’t. The flashes he had gotten from Kirk’s mind from the contact had been pleasant and warm, filled with the young human's affection and friendship for him. To break the sudden emotional moment he asked, “What shall you call him?”

Kirk hesitated only for a second. “Alexander.”

“Alexander?” Spock raised a questioning eyebrow. Kirk had never mentioned this human name before.

Kirk began to move back towards the city; it was getting dark and would soon be time for supper. The sehlat willingly followed beside him and Kirk would occasionally pet its head. “Yes. From the Macedonian King of Earth.”

Spock followed on the other side of Kirk and frowned almost unnoticeable at Kirk’s words in bewilderment. “I never understood humans’ fascination with conquers.” He knew Earth history well; in his days the young Macedonian King had conquered the known world before he was even 30.

“He was a brilliant strategic. I am reading a book for my history class about him; he had some interesting strategies for the war against Persia,” Kirk commented, a light in his eyes as he spoke. He had always been interested in history and this was one topic where the fast pace and high level demanded at the school was no problem for him.

“Truly?” Spock enquired. Military history had never held much interest for him but he enjoyed hearing Kirk talk about the topic as it clearly interested him. Kirk begun an animated explanation and Spock was as content to listen to him explain as the sehlat was with guarding his new human friend.

Since that day Alexander lived with Spock at his large apartment in the city and Kirk would spend time with him almost every day as that was the frequency with which he normally met Spock. However, there was no doubt he was Kirk’s sehlat; the animal was his own master the same way Amanda had explained to Spock the Terran animal known as a cat was yet his loyalty to Kirk was unquestionable.

Part 7:

Spock was not worried. Worrying was a human emotion. He was simply disturbed by the illogic of Kirk wanting to go through the Kahs-wan ordeal. He was not Vulcan; why would he do such a thing? Yet Kirk had claimed it was something he wanted to do. He had to fight not to fidget. Kirk was 16 years old; he was much older than Vulcan children undergoing the ordeal. But he was also Human. He knew many had feared he would not survive his own Kahs-wan due to his Human blood but Kirk was all Human. He had Alexander with him but was it enough?

He was waiting with his parents and other Vulcans at the place where Kirk’s journey were scheduled to end. Except his mother who allowed worry to shine in her eyes as she looked searchingly out over the harsh landscape everyone else seemed in perfect control and Spock tried hard to copy them. Still, there was no denying he was worried. Kirk was late. He could be injured… or worse. The very thought made his blood freeze. Over time a light Bond had been created between them; maybe if he opened it a little…waves of brightness, warmth and life in lack of a better word flooded over him, threatening his control.

*Jim?* Spock’s mind asked, trying to keep the bond light. There was an unexplainable pull; as if Kirk was a black hole and he an object destined to be pulled towards it.

*Spock? Is that you?* there were surprise mixed with warmth and waves of pleasure in the response the Human sent back.

*I am sorry I have intruded,* Spock sent, aware that intrusion, in particular into the mind of one who had not been taught in the art of mental shielding, was a rude invasion of privacy.

Kirk’s mental waves radiated only warmth and happiness at Spock’s intrusion, putting the Vulcan at ease while filling him with a sense of wonder and awe. *Don’t be silly. I just didn’t know you could do this.*

*I cannot.*

*What do you mean?* Kirk’s emotions flowed freely to Spock; the human didn’t even attempt to shield himself. He was fully open and vulnerable before the Vulcan and this complete show of trust was humbling to him.

*Our minds are highly compatible and through previous contact my mind can find yours as long as yours do not fight or reject my entrance.*

*Previous contact? But we have never Melded.* Kirk’s puzzlement was so clear to Spock it almost became his own.

*Each time you touch me your mind has brushed mine.* There was no embarrassment as he said it; Spock had with years come to accept Kirk’s touch and enjoy it as the comfort and support it was offered as.

*Of course; you’re a touch telepath.*

*Do you mind?* Spock was able to hide his hesitation and fear of rejection from Kirk but not from himself.

There was a long pause before Kirk’s reply flooded back with an almost shy air. *No. it’s…nice.*

To distract himself from the warm feelings Kirk’s words brought him Spock focused on his main concern; Kirk’s safety. *Are you unharmed?*

There was a warm gentleness to Kirk’s thoughts as he replied, *Yes. Alexander is guarding me fiercely and you have taught me well; do not worry.*

*Good.* Spock permitted himself to feel a wave of relief. *What is your estimated time of arrival? You are 4.6 hours delayed.*

*You should see me…now*

Spock looked expectantly out over the landscape and true to his words Kirk appeared over one of the desert hills. He looked dirty, exhausted and sunburned but was otherwise in good health. Alexander seemed unharmed as he walked by his side, guarding his human friend’s steps the way I-Chaya had done when Spock himself had been a child. Spock barely restrained himself from running to Kirk; feeling an illogical desire to assure his visual confirmation with a physical one. Spock moved a little away from the group, making him the first person Kirk reached. When Kirk finally stood before him he grinned widely and his eyes softened the way they had a tendency to do around him in a way Spock found most pleasing and endearing.

“I told you I could do it.”

Spock’s eyes reflected relief at seeing his friend safe and back at his side. “Indeed you did.”

There was a moment of silent but warm affectation between them. “I better go to T’Pau now and finish the formality of it all,” Kirk said and started to walk towards the gathered Vulcans. “I bet she was holding out hope I would have to call for assistance and give up the whole thing.” As always this had only made Kirk even more determined to complete the ritual.

  
“Surely not,” Spock felt obligated to protest though he had indeed felt her – and many other Vulcans’ – strong belief and almost hope that a human would fail the test. Even though the test had been softened to take into account human endurance it was still very difficult and it had been a logical assumption that a human would fail. Despite this Spock had never doubted Kirk would be able to pull through given he didn’t run into any unexpected dangers on his way. He was nothing if not determined.

“Surely so but never mind,” Kirk brushed it off as unimportant with another tired but sincere smile. It was one of many traits Spock admired about his willful Human friend. He seemed to care only for the opinion of a very few people; everyone else didn’t even seem to face him. However, if he could rub their noses in his achievements he was not above doing so.

“Congratulations on passing,” Spock said as he walked by his side towards the gathered Vulcans.

Kirk gave him a happy look. “Thanks. But then you never doubted me, did you?”

“Under an assumption of stable conditions; no.”

They walked in silence and were now within human sight of the gathered Vulcans and Amanda who smiled softly in relief and pride at Kirk’s achievement. Even Sarak seemed satisfied with his Human ward’s achievement. T’Pau looked, at Kirk had predicted, as unhappy about seeing him as any unemotional Vulcan could. “By the way,” Kirk said softly, his eyes on the group in front of him but his words only for Spock, “if ever you want to touch my mind or meld or whatever you just did…feel free to do so.”

Spock could barley hold back his surprise and shock. Kirk offered himself, the most sacred part of himself, to him so freely. “Do you know what you are offering?” he asked hoarsely. This was one of the greatest gifts a Vulcan could give; free access to his mind.

Kirk nodded and looked at him, giving him a tender smile. “Yes. To share my mind with you.” He hesitated and for the first time doubt was in his eyes. “If you want to. I guess it can become a little chaotic, undisciplined…might be a bit unpleasant for a Vulcan to….”

Spock quickly interrupted, never wanting to see the doubt, fear and stab of loneliness in Kirk’s expressive eyes again. “Your mind is a mosaic of wonders to me and I shall be…pleased to share thoughts with you.”

Kirk’s face brightened like a sun but he said nothing further as they were now within hearing range of the Vulcans. With time Kirk, like Amanda, had learned to calculate the distance of sensitive Vulcan ears. Throughout the rest of the ritual festivities of his achievement, masterfully arranged by Amanda, Spock and Kirk shared a silent but deep felt understanding, both knowing their friendship had just deepened even further and both feeling nothing but pride and happiness for this fact.

Part 8:

“Spock!” Kirk cried happily as his Vulcan friend entered his room at the school. It was early evening after a long day of lectures but Spock could always lighten his mood. His face instantly lit up in a smile; one of those rare ‘light up a room’ smile Kirk for a long time now had so casually thrown around whenever he saw Spock; be it in public or in private. With years he had in many ways adopted Vulcan mannerism but through his growing affection for Spock he had also become very human in his attachment. He reached Spock just as the door slid shut behind him and gave him a warm embrace; something he did rarely, only in private and only when he was overcome by impulsive affection and joy. Spock barely returned the embrace at all but when Kirk drew back he could see the warmth in his eyes and he knew, from the brief contact, that Spock had enjoyed the embrace as well. With years as they had Melded often Kirk had become able to pick up flashes of Spock’s emotions when they touched. Nothing detailed or elaborate as what Spock was often able to but merely insights which meant now more than ever Kirk didn’t need words to know of Spock’s strong affection for him.

“I didn’t think you would be here. Weren’t you on some biology field assignment to one of the neighboring star systems?”

Spock permitted a soft smile to curve his lips slightly. His attachment to Kirk had grown over the years to a degree where he was afraid to examine why he preferred Kirk’s company to all others, why his emotionalism and touch didn’t bother him when almost all others did, save his mother and her human family. “I was. However, I have been made aware over the years that you seem to find my presence on the date of your birth pleasant.”

Kirk grinned widely. “Pleasant is an understatement.” The air was thick with joyful emotions and warm affection.

The moment became tender and Spock had to force his mind to think of something to say in order to break the moment, something he found himself strangely reluctant to do. “Do you wish to go out to celebrate?” Spock felt obligated to ask as he knew this was often done among Humans even though he had no taste for the kind of human indulgence at the space ports most foreigners went for at the date of their birth.

Kirk shook his head, well aware of Spock’s preferences. He laid a hand on Spock’s arm and guided him further into the room. “No. I would rather hear about everything you’ve seen and experienced on your trip.”

Spock stopped, forcing Kirk to do likewise who looked up at his taller friend with puzzlement in his eyes. “Then perhaps we should move to my apartment.” Kirk’s room was small and cramped with books and artifacts. Spock’s own apartment in the center of the city was large and luxurious thanks to his family’s power and influence.

Kirk smiled and released Spock’s arm, somewhat reluctantly but he would never embarrass Spock with an emotional scene in public. “A logical suggestion, my dear Vulcan friend.”

As they walked towards Spock’s aircar Kirk’s curiously got the better of him. “How did you manage to come here?” The Vulcan Science Academy wasn’t known for being lenient; the work load was large even by Vulcan standards.

  
Spock looked at him with that hidden sense of humor only Kirk could see sparkling in his eyes. “I told my instructor a family situation demanded my attendance here on Vulcan.”

Kirk looked shocked and surprised before a grin slowly spread over his lips. “You lied.”

Spock raised an eyebrow at him. “I did not,” he denied with a touch of hurt at the implication. Vulcans didn’t lie.

However, it didn’t fool Kirk for a minute. His features softened and he would have touched Spock’s arm if not they were outside the building now and still had a meter or two before they were in Spock’s aircar.

“Thank you, Spock,” he said warmly, heartfelt. Spock’s presence at his birthday had been a constant since he had lost his family and it was something he valued higher than he was sure Spock could understand. The wonderful thing was that Spock didn’t have to understand; he would simply always be there for him, just because he knew it would please him.

Spock gave a small nod of acknowledgement of the words, pleased and warmed by Kirk’s joy. He knew then he would gladly tell a thousand lies if it brought such light to Kirk’s eyes.

* * *

Spock had a wonderful and spacious apartment. It had an open kitchen with a dinning table, a livingroom, a large bedroom and connecting bathroom. Alexander was happy to see Kirk again and he spent some time saying hi to him before the animal went to lay down, satisfied to observe the two of them as if this was the way he preferred to watch over them. With time the sehlat had taken quite a liking to Spock and he seemed reluctant to be forced to choose which of them to follow and guard.

Kirk and Spock shared small talk – something Spock had learned from his mother and Kirk – while preparing a wonderful meal. Through the years Kirk had become quite fond of many of Vulcan’s vegetarian dishes though he still loved meat dishes. On this day Spock made a special Terran meat dish for him and the gesture made Kirk’s heart swell as he knew how repulsed the idea of eating animal flesh was to his Vulcan friend.

“We have spoken much about me yet little about you. How have your last 3.5 months been?” Spock asked as they sat by the dinning table and their meal drew to a close. A satisfied smile almost reaching Spock’s lips and a glow was in his eyes as he looked at his younger human friend. He had missed Kirk’s presence in the passing months where he had been away on his field study and being in his company again brought him calm and peace of mind.

Kirk’s eyes took on a distant and thoughtful look and he played with the beer glass in his hands for a few seconds before replying. “Satisfactory.”

Spock allowed his face to show only a fraction of his concern. Over the years Kirk had adopted many Vulcan phrases and customs but he often used them to hide his hurt, sadness or worry. “I have leaned that when you use this word it means less than what the word implies.”

Kirk took a sip of beer before he looked Spock in the eyes. “Spock…I am 18 Standard years now. By Vulcan Law I have long been an adult; by Terran Law I am one today. Do you agree to this?”

  
Spock allowed puzzlement at this line of questioning to show on his face. “To deny the facts would be illogical.”

Kirk took a deep breath. “Over the years….” His voice faded away and he blushed, looking down at his hands as he started to fiddle with the beer glass again. “Hmm, I don’t know how to say this.”

Spock’s eyes grew bright with the kind of familiarity he only felt and showed for Kirk. “One word after another would be a logical approach.”

Kirk couldn’t help but laugh, some of the tension leaving him. “Spock! Don’t tease me.” He scowled, his worry returning.

Spock realized Kirk’s distress was real and sobered at once; never wishing to hurt the friend who had become dearer to him with each passing year. “Very well, Jim. What is it that has been on your mind lately?” He didn’t often address Kirk as Jim but when he did it was always in moments like these where they were alone and about to share something important.

Kirk gave him a direct look, his face showing familiar bravado but fear was in his eyes. “You.”

Spock was unable to hide his surprise. “I?”

Kirk nodded. “I have been…contemplating my future. The stars are my love but there is something else I find I love even higher.” He took a deep breath; it was now or never. There was no going back now; he feared rejection but he was certain the reward would be worth the risk. More than anything else he knew he would be unable to hide his growing affection any longer. “You.”

Spock relaxed; with years he had understood Kirk’s human side demanded he expressed his affection for him in words as well as deeds. Though Spock would never admit it publicly he enjoyed these clear signs of affection. “You know I return strong affections for you as well,” he said gently, his eyes soft. As time had gone by he had begun to realize he couldn’t imagine his life without Kirk in it.

  
Kirk wasn’t quite successful in hiding his impatience and frustration at his own inability to convey his meaning. “I know but that isn't what I’m talking about.” He tried to find the right way to explain it. “Spock, you’ve become more than a friend or even brother. I feel alone when you are not by my side, I long for your presence in my mind, my heart…” he hesitated for just a second but knew he had to be direct; he had to be the one to breach this topic and admit to why he had had so many sleepless nights lately, “and in my body.”

Spock couldn’t hide his shock and surprise. “You…wish me as a lover?” he asked carefully, unsure if he had understood him correctly.

Kirk nodded though fear was shining through more clearly in his eyes now. Still, he kept his head high, his eyes fixated on his friend, trying to guess his reactions behind the initial shock. “Yes.”

  
”I…I have never thought of this,” Spock finally said though a silent voice in his mind whispered; _liar._ _This was been building for a long time and you know it. You have simply forbidden yourself to finish this line of thought._

Kirk’s face fell to show sadness and hopelessness but then his courage and bravado returned full force. He finished his beer in one go, put the glass down and went around the table to Spock. For a few seconds he looked down at him with eyes filled with hope and love. Then he maneuvered himself until he was sitting on Spock’s lap. Ignoring Spock’s surprise he laid his arms around his neck and gave him a brilliant smile.

“What are you doing?” Spock was torn between panic and joy as his body was starting to react to Kirk’s proximity. He barely managed to restrain himself from pressing Kirk possessively towards him to bring him even closer. This was what he wanted; he knew that now. Had likely known it for some time but had been holding back, forbidding himself to even think it. Kirk’s friendship had been too important to let it be destroyed by his desires to have even more of the human than he already had.

Kirk smiled seductively, looking at him from under long lashes with hope, love and beginning passion building. “Showing you that I’m not a child anymore,” he whispered as he planted a butterfly light kiss on Spock’s lips. At first he didn’t react and Kirk was about to draw back but then Spock’s arms came around him, locking him in just the possessive embrace he had wanted to. The kiss deepened and Kirk tightened his hold around Spock’s neck, letting passion overtake him.

“T’hy’la,” Spock whispered as they finally drew apart, sounding a little breathless as he finally said out loud the title his heart and soul had given Kirk. His eyes filled with tenderness but a fire had been ignited in his soul. Kirk looked down at him with eyes filled with love and lust, the evidence of his passion clearly seen through his tight pants just as Kirk no longer had any doubt of Spock’s emotions. A teasing look was in Kirk’s eyes as moved a little in Spock’s lap, creating a wonderful friction on Spock’s engrossed organ.

“T’hy’la,” the Vulcan repeated, the title coming out like a prayer as he with half closed eyes gave in to the sensation. With anyone else giving up control like this would have been hard but over the years he had come to trust Kirk completely. He felt safe enough to show other kinds of loss of control; this was simply another. When Kirk stopped moving and Spock looked into his eyes there was an expectant look in Kirk’s eyes. Without further ado he rose with Kirk in his arms, his superior strength making the gesture almost effortless. Kirk simply tightened his hold around Spock’s neck, happy to have Spock take the initiative now. Spock carried him to the bedroom and was to put him down on the bed but before doing so his eyes sought Kirk’s, seeking permission.

Kirk nodded. “Yes,” he said out loud with a smile and Spock gently laid him down on the bed.

Kirk reached up for him and Spock’s body quickly covered his. Soon they were a mess of limbs as they tried to reach everywhere, kiss everywhere, lick everywhere. Their clothes were quickly thrown aside, Spock’s normal sense of order forgotten in the heat of passion. They had seen each other naked a few times when they had gone swimming together; a rare luxury on a desert planet. However, this was different. As Kirk lay naked under him, looking up at him with loving and passionate eyes Spock took time to truly admire his golden lover. His body was that of a man now, strong and fit. His hair and eyes were golden and to Spock he seemed to almost glow. He enjoyed hearing the sound of pleasure and encouragement Kirk uttered as he slowly moved his attention from his face and chest towards his penis. Always curious he first touched it with his hands before giving it an experiential lick at the tip, tasting salty drops. He found he enjoyed the taste and soon had Kirk trashing and pleading for more. With easy strength he held Kirk down by the hips. The young human came quickly and explosively in his month, his hands in his hair and a loud yell escaping his lips.

Spock had almost forgotten his own need in his pleasure and desire to please his lover. However, Kirk had not. With a salted look and a warm smile he kissed Spock’s lips, tasting himself before moving so Spock was now lying on the bed. He took his time to try and kiss and lick all the places he had dreamed of, starting with Spock’s ears and moving down. With Kirk reached the Vulcan’s penis and begun to suck and lick he discovered it was almost as enjoyable as being on the receiving end. Spock was much more controlled in his passion but Kirk knew the small sounds he made and almost invisible movement of his hips to push deeper into his month spoke volumes as did the way his hands crushed the sheets.

“Push up; I can take it,” Kirk found himself whispering when his month wasn’t filled. He found he enjoyed being able to make Spock loose control; it made him feel loved and trusted. Spock eagerly did as Kirk said; pushing up and into the warm heat of his month. Taking him in deep a few times brought Spock over the edge and he came in Kirk’s month with a small noise of pleasure. Kirk eagerly swallowed it all before tenderly licking his lover clean. With a soft smile he finally looked up from his handiwork to see Spock looking down at him with something between infinite tenderness and love on his face. Kirk’s smile widened, satisfaction and happiness in his eyes as he moved so he could lie his head on Spock’s shoulder. The Vulcan instinctively put his arms around him, holding him close.

For a long time they lay together, Kirk safe and warm within Spock’s embrace, both bathing in the afterglow. “What does t’hy’la mean?” Kirk finally asked, feeling until now there had been no need for words; their happiness was shared and understood.

Spock tightened his hold on his younger lover slightly before releasing it again. “Friend, brother…lover. You are all these to me,” he said softly, looking down at Kirk who had turned and raised his head so they could see the tenderness and joy on each other’s faces.

Kirk smiled satisfied. “T’hy’la. I like that.”

Spock permitted a warm smile to touch his lips. “Good for I shall call you this from now on.”

Kirk smiled widely before laying his head back down on Spock’s shoulder, molding his body to his. As their passion started to fade their naked bodies starting to need warmth and Spock pulled the covers around them before his arms returned to hold Kirk even closer to him. “You know how I called Alexander Alexander?” Kirk asked after some minutes of silence, feeling sleep draw near.

“Yes?” Spock prompted. He had always had trouble following the jumps and leaps in Kirk’s reasoning though he found it fascinating.

  
“Do you know of Hephaestion, Alexander’s second in command and the person whom he loved above and before anyone else?”

Spock had to fight to keep his attention on the topic and not the wonderful sensation of having Kirk in his arms. “I have read of him; yes.”

  
“Not long after we became friends I first read about Alexander. I would pretend I was him; the proud young King who would chase his dreams and conquer the world,” Kirk revealed.

Spock thought it over; it was an illogical comparison but somehow it seemed to fit his younger lover. “And in this fantasy of yours I would be Hephaestion; always guarding him, protecting him… making sure he reached his goals?” Spock said, trying to follow the comparison.

  
Kirk turned around in his embrace so he could look down at him. His eyes glowed with love and his face held a satisfied and soft expression. “No, you would be Hephaestion. The man who held his heart and controlled his destiny. The man who was the diplomat, the voice of reason… the man who made it possible for Alexander to go as far as he did.”

Spock was moved by his words and instinctively tightened his hold on him. “You thought of this back then?”

Kirk nodded, his expression serious but filled with affection. “I did. I loved you then but now my love has simply grown and changed. But I always loved you,” he said heartfelt, softly stroking his cheek.

Spock was in awe and moved at knowing this amazing creature in his arms could love him so completely. He answered the only way he knew how; by giving Kirk everything that was his – now and always. “I always have been and always shall be yours.”

Humbled by his words of love Kirk kissed him, first gently as if he was the most precious being in the Universe but then more passionately. When he drew back and was once again resting within Spock’s embrace both men soon fell asleep with happiness glowing on their faces.

Part 9:

Since they had become lovers almost 3 months earlier Kirk had little by little moved into Spock’s apartment until he barely used his room at the school unless to pick up something he hadn’t yet moved. Spock seemed more than happy with sharing quarters with Kirk. The young Human soon learned that sharing quarters with Spock was easier than even the few memories he could still recall clearly of once sharing a room with his older brother. Spock was tidy, efficient and respectful of his boundaries. In return Kirk had tried to show the same respect and had thus started to employ an almost military discipline to tidiness which he knew should come in handy if the dream he had of the stars were to come true. Since it was his last year in high school Kirk was busy preparing for his final exams which he would take in another month. However, he still had a lot more free time than Spock. He had therefore taken up a habit of starting dinner so when Spock arrived he could join him with the last preparations while explaining of his day. Since he had moved in Spock would attempt to always be home at 1800 hours and would never fail to notify him if this was not possible.

The noise of a door opening at precisely 1800 hours had Kirk smile as he went from the kitchen to great his lover; Vulcans were nothing if not predictable. “Hey!” he smiled happily as he threw himself into Spock’s arms who had barely had time to enter; the door had just shut behind him. Spock tightened his arms around the Human and held him a few seconds longer than he normally did. When Kirk drew back he noticed a flicker in Spock’s dark eyes; sadness, pain. It made a surge of protectiveness overwhelm him. He gently stroked Spock’s cheek. “What happened?”

Spock looked away briefly; a clear sign he was about to attempt to avoid the truth. “Why do you think something happened?”

“Spock, come on. It’s me. I know you,” as Kirk spoke he withdrew completely from Spock, took his hand and guided him to the small kitchen section. Without asking, acting in the kind of almost symbiotic manner they had created through years of friendship Kirk poured him a glass of his favourite juice and took a beer himself. He was sure he needed something to calm his nerves so by the end of this tale he wouldn’t go out and do serious damage to whomever had put the look of doubt and pain back into Spock’s eyes. Damn, he had worked so long – since he had first met Spock actually – to try and bring him to see how amazing he was. With one careless word or gesture someone always seemed able to undo all his loving handiwork.

Spock took a sip of his juice while Kirk drank from his beer. When he spoke his voice was toneless and distant. “I did a miscalculation.”

Kirk made a dismissive gesture with his free hand. “So? Everyone does.”

Spock gave him a piercing look filled with self-discrimination. “Not everyone.”

Kirk’s eyes darkened with anger at the ones who had hurt his lover. “Let me guess…those arrogant idiots suggested it was due to your flawed Human blood it had happened or something like that.”

Spock’s lips curved slightly and some of the tension left his shoulders but pain was still shining in his eyes. “I would hardly call the greatest minds on Vulcan idiots.”

Kirk gave him a strong merciless look. “When they insult you I would.”

Spock sighed inaudibly; they had had discussions like these often. “T’hy’la…”

Kirk put down the beer on the kitchen counter next to Spock’s juice and gently stroked his cheek. He looked with soft and loving eyes up at him. “Spock…why do you stay here?” It was not the first time he had wondered but it was the first time he had asked.

Spock avoided his eyes. “Vulcan is my home.”

“It will always be your home,” Kirk gently reminded him. He paused and then went on with something he had thought about for a long time. “Look, I have an idea. All those dreams I told you about; seeing the stars. Traveling places.”

Spock looked at him, unsure where this conversation would lead but that was one of the interesting things with being with Kirk; his human impulsiveness and unpredictability. “I recall.”

Kirk smiled, allowing his excitement at his own idea to show. “Let’s do it.”

  
Spock raised a questioning eyebrow, intrigued despite himself. ”What do you mean?”

“Starfleet’s Academy. Let’s go there,” Kirk elaborated excited.

Spock was hesitant; he seriously doubted Starfleet would be a career choice his parents – or rather his father – would approve of. “I am too old for a change of career.”

Kirk shook his head. It wasn’t just for his sake he kept pushing the issue; he refused to believe Spock’s destiny – as brilliant as he was – was to constantly have to fight to prove himself to Vulcan scientists who refused to give him full acknowledgement of his achievements. “With your knowledge you will quickly rise in the science branch.”

  
Spock hesitated but then voiced his greatest fear. “We will be separated.” Since they had become lovers Spock had felt his physical and mental need for Kirk grow to a degree where separation for any longer period of time seemed intolerable.

Kirk gave him a shy look, his heart beating wildly in his chest. What he was about to suggest could fulfill or destroy all his dreams. “Not if we were Bonded under Vulcan Law.” They had never discussed this; had never talked about the future. They had been too happy in the here and now. Still, it was a thought, a desire and a hope, which had taken form over the passing months.

One of Spock’s eyebrows rose in surprised pleasure at hearing the lover he treasured more than anything else would even consider him for a life mate. “You have thought long about this.”

  
Kirk nodded, his expression serious. “Yes, I have.” He said nothing further. It was vital that Spock took the next step. He needed to ask for the Bond otherwise Kirk would always wonder if he had done it to please him; to satisfy his needs. This needed to be just as much what Spock wanted; what he needed. Seeing Spock’s thoughtful look, knowing both logic and passion was racing within him he felt he had to add, not wanting to push Spock into anything he didn’t feel comfortable with. “Spock, I love you. If you want to stay at the Vulcan Science Academy for the rest of your life I will find occupation here on Vulcan too.”

  
Spock was once again moved by the lengths Kirk would go to in order to carter to his needs and wishes – all based on the very human emotional of love. An emotion he was discovering and learning to appreciate more and more as his life with Kirk unfolded. “I cannot ask that,” he protested, humbled by the suggestion. He knew Kirk’s passion lay in the stars and not planetside.

  
Kirk’s smile softened. “You haven’t. I have made a choice; I am 18 and fully capable of being responsible for my own decisions.”

Kirk was offering him everything he wanted and had longed for since realizing Kirk was indeed t’hy’la to him. The last few months had been the most satisfying in his life but it was becoming increasingly different to carry on a mental and physical close relationship without Bonding; without that closeness. In particular as their minds seemed to draw towards each other more and more for each passing day. Still, he hesitated. He didn’t want Kirk to take a rash decision nor bind him to a decision taken in the heat of passion but which he would later regret. He doubted any of them would survive serving a Bond.

“A Bonding is forever; it is claimed a Bond can carry even beyond the grave. Think carefully, young one. There would never be another for you; not now and not ever,” Spock warned as he looked down at his younger lover, filled with subdued hope.

Impatience and a hint of hurt flashed over Kirk’s face. “I know.”

Spock wasn’t really to give in yet; happiness had never been easy for him to find. The fulfillment of all his dreams could not be so easily found. Still afraid to give into his joy for fear it would be taken away again he brought up another concern. “Most Human males require some time to ‘play the field’ I believe the term is. To try different sexual partners before binding their lives to one person.” He hesitated but then added, “I would wait for you.” It would hurt, more than anything else he had been subjected to but his words were true. For Kirk he could wait a lifetime.

A determined and strong look was in Kirk’s eyes, his whole posture sure and certain. “I do not need you to.”

Dared he hope? Joy and fear fought for control within him, threatened his hold on his emotions. “Are you sure? Jim, you must be certain,” his voice was almost pleading but he didn’t care. This was likely the most important decision of his life.

Kirk nodded. “I am.” He put his arms around Spock’s neck, his expression serious as he locked eyes with his Vulcan lover. “Please, believe me. I do not long for anyone’s touch but yours. I don’t need to play the field. Why would I? I have found what I want; what I need.”

Happiness was starting to shine in his eyes but still Spock had to make sure Kirk knew all the facts before he took such a big decision. He didn’t touch Kirk; not wanting the contact should Kirk change his mind. “The Bond would be complete. Some Humans find the level of sharing, of intimacy…distasteful.”

Kirk shook his head in denial. “I know you would be able to know everything I know and that my end of the Bond can be denied by you while I can’t do that because I’m not a telepath.” He sighed as he looked at Spock, a mixture of love and frustration written on his face. “Read my lips my stubborn Vulcan lover; I do not care.”

Spock laid his arms around Kirk’s waist, holding him close. Now he smiled openly and didn’t care about this loss of control; his joy was boundless but his curiosity prompted him to ask. “Why not?”

“I trust you and I love you.” At Spock’s raised eyebrow he laughed softly as he added, “Not logical I know but valid reasons for a Human nonetheless.”

“Pon Farr….” Spock mentioned his last fear, his face reflecting his shame and hesitation as well as his fear of hurting his lover.

“I will see you through it,” Kirk promised soberly.

“I could hurt you. Likely I will,” he warned, tormented by the mere thought. Pon Farr would make him a dominant lover who thought only to satisfy his own needs. In the Fever it was likely he would forget Kirk’s fragility. His parents had avoided the issue as Vulcan males instinctively used less strength when they mated with females; even when caught in the Fever.

“I will mend.” Kirk saw the fear still in Spock’s eyes and searched for the right words to reassure his older lover. “I have faith in your strength. Please…give me the same credit. Have faith in me. Have faith in my strength.”

Spock was thoughtful for a while, seeing Kirk’s logic. “I do.”

Kirk smiled widely, sensing Spock had seen the logic of what he had proposed, hoping this meant his dream was about to come true. “Then…” Kirk prompted, excitement and impatience, love and hope, written clearly on his face. Could this truly be the moment he had hoped for?

This was it. What he had wanted most from life was really coming true. Spock’s happiness was clear in his eyes and expression; a smile was curving his lips and tenderness was filling his eyes. He released Kirk so they stood facing each other. Kirk was fighting hard not to smile but wasn’t succeeding; even his eyes were shining. “Then James T. Kirk, I ask thee to Bind thyself to me. Parted and never parted, one under Law, forever and always mine and mine alone,” Spock asked solemnly, suddenly afraid against all logic that Kirk would still say no.

Kirk smiled even wider, happiness making his expression light up the room, his eyes going a little misty though he would have denied it if asked. “Yes, yes and yes.” Kirk laughed and grinned while he pulled Spock close to him, both arms around his neck. “Yes to everything.”

Spock sighed in relief, a smile escaping his control. He supported Kirk with one arm around his waist, a loving expression saying clearer than words that though he didn’t show it as clearly as Kirk did in actions his joy was just as great. “Yes to us; yes to our future,” Spock continued Kirk’s statement, emotions threatening to overcome him. He formed the two fingered Vulcan embrace with his free hand. Kirk eagerly placed his fingers to Spock’s, a smile still curving his lips. At the touch the Link already there between them flared to life and affection and love washed over Kirk, creating a comforting and warm blanket around his soul.

Kirk looked from their joined hands to Spock’s eyes. For a second he looked down shyly, long lashes creating shadows on his cheeks. Then he looked up and smiled gently. “Make love to me,” he asked softly.

“I always will,” Spock replied, moved by the request. This man was his for all time; the realization had yet to sink in. Impatient to feel his soon to be Bondmate against him they separated. It was hard to tell who was leading but the Vulcan embrace became human handholding until they reached the bedroom. Clothes were thrown everywhere and soon they were naked on the bed, Spock laying on top of his golden lover. Kirk grinned up at him, his body and eyes inviting as he reached his arms up towards him. Though Spock had done it often over the last few months it was still a wonder to him to be given free access to this body. He lovingly kissed, licked and sucked his lover, paying attention to his every need. Finally, feeling he was on the edge, Spock didn’t draw back but kept sucking his lover till he came explosively in his month. He licked his lips to not waste a drop and Kirk smiled lazily but happily up at him and stroked his cheek.

Spock moved to lie down beside him but Kirk stopped him with a hand on his arm.“Tonight…I want to feel you inside me,” he asked, his expression open and vulnerable, passionate and loving. They had never done that before; had never talked about it.

“Are you certain?” Spock hesitated, not wanting to push. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep inside his lover’s body but didn’t want to take anything for granted.

Kirk nodded. “If you want to I mean….” He said, suddenly afraid Spock might not want that kind of intimacy.

“T’hy’la….there is no greater gift you can give me that the gift of your mind and body,” Spock assumed him, stilling Kirk’s fears. Spock had read texts about how this act was done but doing it in reality was very different. He got some body oil from the bathroom to use as lubrication and carefully prepared his lover. Still nothing could prepare him for the amazing sensation of slowly entering his lover’s warmth. It completed him, making him fight not to push all the way in. The wonderful sensation had made him half close his eyes and it took him a moment to notice the erection their foreplay had given Kirk had disappeared and his face was a grimace of pain. Small tracks of tears were sticking out of his eyes despite Kirk’s stubborn refusal to move.

“I am hurting you. I will pull out,” Spock said and was to draw back but Kirk shook his head.

He looked up at his Vulcan lover, determination in his eyes. “No.” He drew a deep breath and some of the pain lines disappeared. “It’s not that bad any more. Go on.”

Spock hesitated but Kirk gave him a determined stare. Unable to say no he slowly pushed forward, inch by inch, groaning with pleasure as he did so. He didn’t like the flashes of pain which crossed Kirk’s features every time he pushed a little further in but whenever he hesitated for too long Kirk would urge him on. Finally, he was fully shredded.

“Are you harmed?”

Kirk took a deep breath and looked up into his lover’s worried eyes. Spock was loaming over him, supporting his weight with his hands. “The pain is lessening.” He tried to move a little so Spock slid just a little out and then move back. Spock had to close his eyes against the pleasant sensation, fighting not to plunge in and out of the warm body.

“Move,” Kirk urged, smiling up at Spock with pure adoration and affection shining in his eyes. The pain was disappearing and instead Kirk felt full and connected to Spock in a way he had never been before. It was almost as if they were becoming one being. But he knew it could feel even better.

Spock sank to his elbows for a deeper penetration and started to move, slowly at first but soon he found the spot inside Kirk he had been searching for.

“Yes!” Kirk gave a loud noise of pleasure, urging Spock to continue.

Seeing his human lover’s face reflect passion and lust, his erection returning with full strength, inflamed Spock even further. Unable to hold back he starting to pump in and out with increasing speed, urged on by Kirk’s passionate encouragements. Spock reached down a hand to take hold of Kirk’s organ. He started to pump it in time with his own movements. He wanted to Meld them but was afraid it would trigger a Bonding. He wanted the Bond created in public so all could see and join in the joy of his union.

“Come with me,” Spock whispered as they moved faster and faster until they both came explosively. Sated and spent Spock still managed to catch himself so he didn’t put his weight on his lover. He carefully withdrew, the withdrawal making a brief flash of pain cross Kirk’s expression.

“I will be back in approximately 4.6 minutes,” Spock promised as he left the bed. He was to turn towards the bedroom when he noticed the vulnerable look on Kirk’s face as he looked up at him.

He sat down by the bedside and tenderly stroked Kirk’s cheek. “It was incredible; you are incredible,” he said, awe and wonder at the gift which was Kirk’s love. The human’s hesitation disappeared and love was shining in his eyes as he shyly smiled up at him, for once at a loss of words. Spock gave him a loving kiss before disappearing into the bathroom. He washed himself quickly and returned with the intention to wash his lover. Still too shy Kirk took the washing cloth and disappeared into the bathroom, giving Spock a kiss on the way to let him know everything was ok between them. He used some healing salve on the places he felt he was most sore and then returned to bed. Spock had rearranged the sheets and drew back the covers to invite his lover in as he approached. Kirk smiled and eagerly crawled back into bed. Spock drew the covers around them while Kirk got comfortable with his head on Spock’s chest. He had discovered he enjoyed sleeping like this and Spock was more than happy to oblige. Kirk closed his eyes, feeling a greater sense of happiness and completeness than he had ever felt before. His arms tightened around the Vulcan and Spock’s arms came around him to hold him close. “Thank you,” Kirk whispered.

  
Spock stroked the blond head, feeling greater contentment than he ever had before. “Why do you thank me?” he asked, allowing puzzlement to be readable to Kirk in his voice.

Kirk smiled and though Spock couldn’t see him doing so he could feel the curving of his lips against his chest. They would need to finish dinner and talk practicalities but for now Kirk just wanted to enjoy this moment. “You made me able to love again,” he explained. It was something he would never have thought possible after the deaths of his family.

Spock smiled ever so gently as he softly kissed the top of Kirk’s head before he whispered, “And you, t’hy’la, taught me how to love.”

Part 10:

Taking a decision to Bond was different from actually doing so. They had both agreed they wanted to do it the traditional way; in public for all to see. They could Bond on their own and Vulcan would be forced to make it official; this would be enough for Starfleet. Yet both of them wanted more from Vulcan than that. The most important step was to get permission from Spock’s parents. For this Kirk had needed to gather all his courage.

Eight days after their decision had been made they had gone to Sarek and Amanda’s home for dinner, something they often did. However, this time when they had just retired to the living room it would become one of the most important days in Spock and Kirk’s lives; it was now they needed to persuade them to support their decision. The four of them were gathered around a table; Sarek and Amanda sitting together side by side while Kirk sat alone, facing them with Sarek closest to him. Spock had taken up an almost protective position as he stood beside Kirk’s chair, a hand on it as if he unconsciously wanted to show they belonged to each other. They each had a drink and had been talking about the latest events in Federation politics. That topic had just died out and Kirk knew this was his chance.

He cleared his throat and looked at each of them again, trying not to show his nervousness. Their approval was very important to Spock and therefore also to him. “Lady Amanda, Ambassador Sarek. I want to thank you for taking me under your wing. You have included me in your family out of obligation but it has been real and sincere all the same.” Kirk took a deep breath; hoping for the best. He locked eyes with Spock and though he hid behind his Vulcan mask he could feel love in his eyes when he looked down at him and this gave him strength. He returned his attention to Sarek and Amanda as he continued. “However, I now ask that you accept me fully as a Clan member and a member of your personal family.”

  
Amanda looked from her son’s unreadable expression to the young Human she had come to care so deeply for. “James, I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.”

Spock and Kirk had talked a little about who should bring up the topic before Sarek and Amanda. In the end Kirk had done it simply because he knew Spock feared the outcome of this conversation more than he would ever admit. “I’m asking your permission to Bond with your son,” Kirk replied and saw how his words made surprise color Amanda’s face.

Sarek hid his surprise better but not the displeasure. “That is impossible.” Sarek said, his expression darkened.

Kirk had anticipated this comment but still felt hurt at the words. With years Sarek and Amanda had come to be important to him and he valued their opinion of him. He purposefully didn’t look at Spock; knowing he would be even more affected by Sarek’s words. “You have not yet heard my reasons. They are logical ones,” Kirk protested, fighting to regain ground and keep all tracks of emotions at bay.

“Spock has been Bonded to T’Pring since he was a child,” Sarek reminded him. Kirk had of course known of this but had never given it any thought. He knew Spock barely knew her and didn’t care for her and he also knew since Spock had not brought her up she was no obstacle to their Bonding.

“Correction, Father. I was Bonded to her,” Spock broke into the conversation, his voice respectful but strong, making it clear he was not backing down. His words calmed Kirk who, despite Spock’s reassurances before they had come here had still feared a rejection from his parents would make him hesitate to proceed with Bonding them.

Sarek looked more surprised and shocked than any unemotional Vulcan should. “That is impossible. You cannot Break this Bond.”

Spock looked his father in the eyes, steel strength developed from the love and affection Kirk had given him so freely replacing the nervousness and feeling of inadequacy he had often felt in his father’s presence. “Affirmative. However, it can be replaced.”

“Replaced? What do you mean, Spock?” Amanda asked puzzled.

His expression softened when he looked at his mother and saw only warmth and a need to understand in her eyes. “James and I have very compatible minds. Over the years a Link – a light Bond - has developed between us. It has replaced the childhood Bond I had to T’Pring.”

Sarek took this information in for a few seconds before turning to Kirk. “You wish to Bond to my son? What logic do you offer for this decision?”

“Sarek, please,” Amanda protested, laying a restraining hand on his arm but he ignored her. She sent a warm and loving look towards her son, “as long as he is happy; that is all that matters.”

“My wife, I am interested in a logical reason; not an emotional one,” he chilled though as always his eyes softened when he looked at his wife.

Kirk was unfazed by Sarek’s question; he had prepared for this. He sent Spock a reassuring smile before he turned serious eyes on Sarek. “Our minds are, as Spock said, highly compatible. A Bond has started to develop spontaneously. Also, we work well together.”

Sarek nodded acceptance of these facts, a human trait he had taken up from his wife. “Do you desire to enter the sciences so you can work with my son?”

Kirk shook his head. “No. I wish to join Starfleet. My dream has always been to command a Starship.”

Surprise was clearly written on Amanda’s face and even Sarek was once again surprised.

“Father, Mother…I wish to join him in the Science branch,” Spock said, looking at each in turn.

There was dead silence in the room. “You would need the Bond to be stationed together,” Sarek observed, betraying nothing of his emotions on the matter.

“Affirmative,” Spock confirmed, successfully hiding his nervousness.

Sarek once again turned to Kirk. “James, you are young. You have yet to turn 19. A Bond is a lifelong commitment which cannot be broken and should therefore not be entered into lightly. Are you ready for this?”

“I am,” he replied solemnly, feeling a change was about to happen and he desperately hoped it was a change to his advantage.

“What proof do you offer?”

“I offer you my thoughts,” Kirk replied, giving a traditional and ancient Vulcan offer when one needed to assess truth and loyalty. In Sarek’s eyes he now saw not resentment or shock but a parent’s need to assure himself his child was safe; that he took a good decision.

Sarek made a beckoning hand gesture, a brief hint of pleasant surprise at Kirk’s answer flashing over his face. “Come near.”

Kirk did as bid. There was just enough space between the chair he had been sitting in and the sofa Sarek and Amanda sat in to kneel beside it so his meltpoints were in easy reach to the Vulcan. Kirk sent a reassuring smile Spock’s way and saw the way his hand on the own empty chair had tightened. It was not easy for him to see another male, even his father, touch his t’hy’la so intimately just like it wasn’t easy for Kirk to invite anyone else into his mind. He had never shared his thoughts with anyone but Spock and was a little nervous about it. Melding was an emotionally and physically tiring experience for none telepaths. However, he knew Sarek would enter his mind as gently as he could.

Sarek’s fingers found the meldpoints on Kirk’s face. “My mind to your mind…” Sarek began the traditional words and soon Kirk felt his presence at the gates of his consciousness. His mental presence was cold and detached compared to Spock’s but Kirk welcomed him in nevertheless. He tried to guide him mentally through his mind so he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by his irrational and emotional thought patterns. He showed the part of him that was the beginning Bond to Spock and his feelings and thoughts concerning it. Sarek went through each memory and each feeling but Kirk felt no echo of Sarek’s feelings or thoughts on them; Sarek was shielding himself so the Meld was one-sided. He knew Sarek well enough to know he would keep to the codes of ethics when entering a Meld which meant that he would avoid viewing memories of passion and would not view any memory which didn’t appear to be connected to what he was trying to find out. It was more his emotions and chaos within his own mind he feared might be a factor counting against him. He was certain Amanda’s mind was warmer and more at ease, more ordered, than his own.

When Sarek withdrew and removed his hand Kirk took a calming breath; the meld had been exhausting.

Everyone looked at Sarek expectantly, hanging on his next words. “Thy reasons are essentially emotional,” he commented, looking down at the young human still kneeling beside him.

Kirk was not sure if the formal address was a good sign or not but chose to reply in kind. “Sir, I am Human.”

Sarek raised an eyebrow. “My son is Vulcan.”

“And Human. I shall respect both aspects as I have respected Vulcan during my years here,” Kirk calmly reminded him.

Sarek was thoughtful for a few seconds. “You feel some resentment to Vulcan.”

Kirk shook his head; he had expected Sarek might discover something like this. “Sir, respectfully, that is not entirely true. I feel resentment towards those Vulcans who have hurt…” he paused and quickly rephrased so not to insult Spock before his father with an implication that he had reacted emotionally “…mistreated Spock. Those who cannot move past their prejudices to see how fantastic he is. I have great respect for Vulcan Law and tradition.”

A look at Amanda showed her happiness at Kirk’s words but she remained silent. However, her hand on Sarek’s arm had now become a caress which Kirk took as a good sign.

“Spock is my only heir,” Sarek reminded him.

“I am not adverse to raising children…in 20 years or so,” Kirk added with a flash of his trademark charming smile, knowing what Sarek's real concern was.

Another eyebrow rose on the older Vulcan. “Spock’s children?”

“Father, please,” Spock injected, clearly feeling uncomfortable but Kirk sent waves of assurance towards him through their Link.

Kirk looked Sarek right in the eyes as he replied, his voice calm and honest. “Both, either. I have no line I feel a need to continue through offspring but respect that some do have such a need.”

Sarek was thoughtful for a few seconds and the whole world seemed to stop. When finally he spoke everyone hang on his words, knowing this was the moment where he would have made up his mind, “You have my permission providing Spock will provide heirs.”

“You have my word, Father,” Spock spoke up, barely managing to keep a smile from his lips. With Sarek’s permission they would also have Vulcan’s permission. They had done it; they had won. The Link to Kirk was flooded with happiness, love and bliss from both sides and Spock only barely managed to keep his control from the onslaught of Kirk’s open affection and joy.

Kirk sent a wide joyful smile to Spock before his attention returned to Sarek. “You have my word as well.” Kirk said solemnly but then smiled widely once more. “And thank you,” he said heartfelt

Sarek raised an eyebrow and Kirk recognized teasing in his eyes when he said, “One does not thank logic.”

Kirk couldn’t keep from laughing out loud while he rose, relief and joy making him lightheaded. Then Amanda was on her feet and managed to intercept Spock before he reached Kirk. She hugged both of them, crying in happiness and Kirk couldn’t stop smiling. Though the Link he felt Spock’s relief, love and happiness. They stayed and talked till late in the night, explaining their future plans to Sarek and Amanda with youthful eagerness. They only barely managed not to touch in front of them, their happiness knowing no bounds. They set their Bonding ceremony to a month later as Sarek’s status demanded the attendance of such an event by many important dignitaries from Vulcan as well as abroad.

When they were to leave that evening Spock made his first official claim to Kirk as his bondmate. They were standing in the front door, saying their goodbyes. Spock had said his and Kirk had just finished saying a heartfelt but formal farewell to Sarek and hugging Amanda who were still proclaiming her joy at seeing her son so happy.

“Bondmate, attend me,” with those traditional words, filled with warmth, Spock called Kirk to his side. Kirk eagerly came and touched his fingers to Spock’s in the Vulcan embrace, having to fight to keep his emotions in check when he finally realized they were now sworn to each other for all time; he would never again be alone. As Bondmates they could now touch like this in public no matter where they were, be it on Vulcan or anywhere else. When the Bond was finalized they would truly never be alone, not even in their own thoughts. The idea brought Kirk no worries but only pleasure and joy. No more hiding; before Vulcan, before the whole Universe they belonged together forever. When their fingers touched the Bond gained strength and Kirk felt the full force of Spock’s love and affection. He felt humbled in the face of such great emotion but eagerly send his own back, thanking everything and everyone for the great happiness in his life.

Part 11:

Kirk and Spock stood at the entrance to the shuttle that would bring them to Earth and Starfleet Academy. They had Bonded in a grand and luxurious ceremony almost two months ago and were now ready to start their own life – together. Neither had had trouble being accepted into the Academy and due to their status as Bondmates they had been allowed to rent a small apartment on the Academy grounds where they could live together. It was an option the Academy offered all cadets who had a life partner.

Kirk turned and grinned mischievously at Spock who stood by his side, his eyes filled with love. “So, Husband, ready to take on the galaxy?” It was still a wonder to him to be able to call Spock his own; his joy at their union had only increased as had his wonder and pleasure at the Bond which finally ensured Spock would always be in his mind. A loving and reassuring presence he was the calming center and strength Kirk knew he would always seek.

Spock’s expression was soft and warm as he looked at his Bondmate. With his Bonding to Kirk Spock’s dreams had come true. If he archived nothing else in this life he would still feel he had reached further than he had ever dared hope for. “T’hy’la, you know I always have been and always shall be yours.”

Kirk’s expression softened as well and he held out the Vulcan two fingered embrace. Their Bond surged to life at the contact when Spock’s fingers touched his.

*I give nothing up. I have no regrets. Chasing the stars is a dream but one I would never wish to fulfill without you at my side,* Kirk sent. He was still amazed that they could so easily communicate like this. For the first 3 days after their Bond they hadn’t spoken verbally but had shared their bodies and thoughts completely.

*Then here I shall stay; for as long as we shall live,* Spock sent, his affection and sincerity clear. The Bond to Kirk offered Spock a vibrant presence, always there, always loving and supporting. Like a blanket around his soul, Kirk offered him endless affection, as much as he wanted. He was like water to a thirsting man and Spock eagerly drank in all Kirk gave, still in awe that this amazing being was truly his.

The tender moment was broken when Kirk withdrew his fingers and grinned. However, the Bond remained in their minds as a pleasant background noise, offering love, warmth and affection from both in a shared understanding of a life bound together by a love which went beyond physical; which was a part of their souls, minds and hearts. “Let’s go; Starfleet here we come!”

The briefest hints of a smile curved Spock as he followed his young Bondmate into the shuttle that would take them to the Academy; and their future. A future they would share together. For the first time in his life Spock could say he was truly…happy.

**The end**


End file.
